Dear friend I borrowed the Falcon from: I swear I'll clean it before I give it back.

That's a NovInt Falcon, with a dildo tied to it (using crocodile clips and wire, 'cause this is a workbench, not a bedroom!), being controlled through a python script running the motors to full out, then full back.

This is a fucking SWEET way to burn out the motors, so unless you're making stupid videos with a friend's one that they let you "check out for the weekend", I don't recommend trying this method.

Go implement a nice, romantic PID loop, instead. It's what the kids call "closing the loop". Smooth positional control is better anyways. See if you can be the first to implement "the swirl".

(Note: First person to get Oprah to talk about the crisis of "closing the loop" in high schools gets... something awesome)

Here's the pretty printed HTML version of the code, or the actual python file

Since FTDI has cross-platform drivers, this script should technically work on Windows, Mac, or Linux (Update: So the current python script will actually only run on windows, 'cause PyUSB, the FTDI interface layer, is windows only. However, FTDI makes drivers for all platforms, and you've got the protocol now, so it's just a matter of compiling for whatever you platform may be and using that). 'course, I expect NovInt's upcoming SDK will probably involve a lot more features and making programming MUCH easier (and they're releasing it free to non-commercial developers anyways), but I'm still awful proud of myself for getting this far without documentation. I'll write up the whole story of how I put this all together tomorrow. Right now, pre-brunch sleep awaits.

Congratulations, Stroker, I'm biting on your little tip on SLI, just like you knew I would.

Remember VR Innovations? Yeah, I really don't want to either. They came out with a new version of their vacuum pump-ish movie syncing toy last year, to like, zero fanfare.

Well, while I was at SIGGRAPH last week, there was a rather odd feature at cNet on Eric White, the guy that owns VRInno (and is pictured above holding his toy next to a dummy with some sort of headset display. Icuiti makes sexier glasses, really.). Not a lot of interest in the article...

Ok, fine, I can't help but snark. First off...

"What makes White's contraption different is that it's arguably the most technologically advanced to date."

Ok... Let's argue, then. NEXT SENTENCE:

That's because his so-called Virtual Sex Machine comes with Windows software that controls the VSM through the PC's parallel data port.

JESUS H FUCK PEOPLE HE CONTROLLED A MOTOR THROUGH A PORT NOT EVEN AVAILABLE ON MOST MODERN MACHINES. GET THAT MAN A NOBEL, STAT.

God damn motherfucking reporters and their not knowing as much as someone who spends a larger portion of time than he'd like to admit to keeping up on this stuff.

But, even better...

For his part, White views himself as a kind of Thomas Edison of the industry: "I want to be the guy who invented virtual sex."

Ok, fine, I call Tesla! Please cast David Bowie to play me! (And I'll take some Christian Bale while you're at it. In my trailer, thank you.)

Anyways, enough of this. Onto that.

So, the second part of this story involves a guy named Stroker. Ok, his real name is Kevin, but no one calls me Kyle, so I'm gonna be nice and call him Stroker.

Stroker is one of the big players in the Second Life sex scene. You may know of him as the guy currently in a lawsuit over a virtual object being stolen, that object being one of the in world sex beds that runs around $45US. That's about all the background story we need here.

So, the 2007 second life community conference is coming up. You might remember the 2006 SLCC, where I did silly, silly things on stage. If you don't remember, here's the video:

Download File - Quicktime

Download File - DiVX 6

There's a panel on Sex in SL again this year, featuring Regina Lynn, Stroker, and two other people I've never heard of 'cause I'm out of touch with what you kids are up to these days. Stroker had been talking about some sort of announcement for months, but I had no idea what he was up to. Then this comment came around on a somewhat odd teledildonics-but-not-really post on Second Life Insider:

Coming to a SexGen near you...

http://www.vrinnovations.com/

And suddenly, all the pieces fall together. Surprised that Stroker would leak this before SLCC, but really, there's probably 1 person in the world who gets this, and they're writing about it right now and wondering why they're advertising products they really don't agree with.

Well, that's the fun of tracking technology, folks. I guess you can expect the announcement of SexGen + VRInnovations at SLCC. For the low, low price of (I'm completely guessing here, SexGen+VSM would be...) ~$500US (with preownership of penis, obviously, since there's no female toy yet), you can have SL controlled synchronized sex.

Just remember, I did it for $30. With more cubes too, I bet.

Will this take off? I doubt it. I'm honestly interested to see how they market it ($125,000L is an amount that comes with a hefty psychological price tag, but people buy $10,000L beds too, so who knows.), and

WARNING: Engineering geeking begins now

there's probably going to be some HTTP setup that does pattern synchronization with the beds. Basically, you'll pick a pose and it'll throw to an HTTP server that'll relay out to some client program to start up a certain pattern. Integrating controls/networking directly into the SL client is n interesting if risky endeavor, as you have to keep up with LLs code base and patches, though that doesn't matter quite so much with the advent of message template liberation.

How much this whole setup will add to the situation is questionable, especially at the whooping 1hz update rate that you're going to get from an SL HTTP stream.

End Engineering geeking

Anyways, I don't really feel I have a lot constructive to say about this at the moment. I guess it's just kinda obvious this would happen at some point, and anything I could say, I've probably said before. So we'll just sit back and see how this goes.

Holy. Fucking. Fuck.

These are the times when I realize I'm not alone in this world. Oh no, there are other pervs out there, with too much hardware and too much time.

The NovInt Falcon. Basic idea: You hold onto the little ball in the front and can move on 3 axes. However, there's force feedback on all of those axes, meaning that it will actually push against you. So, if you shoot a gun, you actually get recoil. If you run into a wall, you will actually feel the force. The motors on all the axes are decently strong, too. Here's an incredibly underinformed video that at least gets the point across:

I've been lusting after this thing for the better part of 2 years, as I think it has real potential as a user interface device. I always thought it'd be cool to hook it to one of the poke-the-doll games like Virtually Jenna and have tactile feedback in... Well, use your imagination. However, I totally didn't think of actually fucking the device itself.

But thank fucking GOD people read this and send me their ideas. What you see there is a falcon attached to a fleshlight. There's no fastening mechanism in the picture, but according to the person who sent this to me, tape can be used as long as there's some sort of level for the fleshlight to rest on. With the right amount of lubrication, the motors will take care of the linear movement and you now have your very own desktop fucking machine, with stylish footprint that you don't have to hide from your parents!

The fleshlight looks like it was almost designed for this use! Though using something lighter, like a Tenga or Nue, might be preferable. For those looking for outies instead of innies, this is a prime candidate for the already popular Vaculock dildo system

The Falcon comes with debugging software that, when used in conjunction with a mouse movement recorder, can play patterns. The movements can be generated, saved, and replayed.

And don't worry about fucking it too hard, 'cause...

"Yes, the Falcon is designed to be durable. Although it is a precision instrument, it is not delicate or something to be babied. So we do not anticipate that mechanical failures are going to be a issue with the Falcon. This is one reason why we extended our warranty to a full year - we are confident in its durability."

Man, posts like this are why I still run this page.

And you can bet I'll be working on this myself.

I try to do one stupid project every conference I go to now. This time (SIGGRAPH 2007), it was porting the Wiibrator to OS X so I could use it on my mac. This also involved getting a SWIG'd version of libusb working on OS X, which means I can now port Twitterdildonics to python easily.

Unfortunately, the wiibrator only "sort of" works due to the fact that the python bluetooth lib isn't thread safe and therefore I have to do my input fetching and other computations in the same thread, which means I don't update fast enough to beat the wiimote sampling rate, so the FFT isn't real happy. But, not bad for a few hours work over the week while the boring papers were up. :)

I'll have it at the reception tonight, wheee. :D

Wiibrator Python Source, libusb compiled library w/ swig interface (SWIG stuff taken from USBTiny Project)

Well, got my badge and my program and all that, so let's see what's going on...

flips through program

Ooooh, 8 "haptic input device" companies on the show floor...

flips somemore

Some of the talks and posters...

• A Ball-Type Vibro-Tactile Space Mouse Using One Web Camera
• An Electrical Muscle Stimulation Haptic Feedback for Mixed-Reality Tennis Game
• Meshless Visual and Haptic Interaction From a Real-Time Depth Image

Emerging Technologies...

• Fibratus Tactile Sensor (capable of sensing 'gentle' touch)
• Freqtric Game (Human skin contact as game controller)
• Gravity Grabber (Wearable Haptic Display to Present Virtual Mass Sensation)
• Haptic Telexistence
• Microsoft Surface (Ok so there's not much haptic here but I have this whole thing about Surface displaying nude people while I eat off of it so I can act like I'm eating at one of those sushi places where you eat off a nude person except like I can be eating buffalo wings out of the freezer or something.... yeah.)